For a long time my love, I have pushed and pushed the boundaries of what I have known to be safe, but for the longest time I have been pushing in the wrong direction. Backwards, backwards, backwards, always cursing each pothole I fell into that I’d created on my way through the first time. I figured that if I could revert myself, erase myself, I would be perfect, I would be good enough. And it took me a long time to realize that perfection does not live in invisibility but is rather created in the mess of all of our imperfections. In the dark, there is bound to be light, and if you have enough darkness to create oblivion, you have enough light to create perfection. So I have some things I need to tell you before the night grows too dark and my words start to slur.
And love, and love, and love."
"I’m clawing for you like a spider and its web. Entangled instead I am like a fly in a smothered trap, a fix I can’t resist. Rough actions but gentle words; grazes my tongue like sandpaper, caresses my body with all the wrong intentions. I moan when I mean to scream in pure agony but who am I kidding, I love the tightening around my abdomen as you perform magic onto me. Devour me, make me feel the closest thing to death. Your hands touch my waist, I sin yet again. On Sunday, I only get on my knees to pray (plead) to the superior for forgiveness a mistake (excuse) I take shame (pride) in. But God just doesn’t understand that one look from you I have no power. I am stolen by your only desire."
-journalofsixela (via journalofsixela)